Are you enjoying that newly engaged life? I don’t know about you, but getting engaged is one of the most exciting moments in two peoples lives! We LOVE hearing proposal stories, and get teary eyed listening to all of them! You may or may not have been dreaming of this day your whole life, it is extremely exciting and somewhat overwhelming! Once you get over that initial “Holy shit I am engaged” feeling out of the way, the “Oh shit, we need to plan a wedding” starts to settle in.

We know that it can be a little stressful, people will INSTANTLY start asking what the plans are, as if, just because it happened 3 days ago, automatically you have everything planned… (WTF is with that anyways? Can we all collectively start a PSA for newly engaged couples, that it is OK to not have EVERYTHING planned right out the gate.)

Being wedding planners, we have a mental list of things that need to get done right away and we want those newly engaged vibes to last as long as possible for you, so we came up with a list of what you should focus on when you first get engaged. Need more help? We have tons of informational blogs for you to check out right here!

“Engagement Season” That time in-between Thanksgiving and Valentines Day where all the people get engaged! A romantic time of year, filled with family, friends and fun!

But we also know that it can be insanely overwhelming, and you may not know where to begin the process of planning a wedding. Which vendors do you need to book right away? Which vendors can wait a couple months? Who the hell is paying for this thing? Do I need a dress right now? Don’t fear! This is list is here to help and hopefully alleviate some of that initial stress!

1. Enjoy being engaged for a little bit!

Let’s start with the ENGAGED part! This is your permission slip to take some time and just enjoy it. Get some cute balloons that say “Engaged AF” or something fun! This is a very big time for you both, you have taken the first step in solidifying your relationship, and it needs to be celebrated! Shout it from the roof top! Tell parents, family, friends, co-workers, EVERYONE! Take that perfect ring selfie and post it on all of your socials because it is time to celebrate! (We always suggest telling important people before blasting it on social media!)

Added Tip: You will instantly be asked a million questions, a good piece of advice is to just say “We are enjoying the engagement right now. We will focus on the other stuff in a few weeks.

2. Get your ring insured and Get a Decoy for Travel!

This is just a simple reminder, that thing is sparkly and expensive and can easily slip off your finger super easy! Don’t wait, jump right in and get that little baby insured!

We love the idea of getting a cheap knockoff from Amazon as well if you plan on doing any travel!

3. Create a “Wedding ONLY” Email address.

We enjoy Gmail, but it is really up to your preference. You can make it easy like kellyandjonwed21@gmail.com or you can creative like turningtoff20@gmail.com. You can both have access to this email and it will keep everything wedding related organized to this email address!

4. Get together with your partner and start talking about the visions you BOTH have on your wedding day!

Choose your top 3 or 4 MUST HAVES! Come up with elements of the day that are important to you both! This could be Venue, photography, floral, maybe you really want a killer DJ, but start to think about what elements are important to you!
Picking a date - How long do you want to be engaged? When do you both envision the wedding being? If you get engaged in December and you want a summer wedding, you may have to push it out a year, otherwise you are looking at a 6-8 month engagement, and it might be difficult to find vendors. If you want a Fall wedding, those are becoming more and more popular, so again, finding vendors and especially a venue could be tricky. Pro Tip… Typical weddings are being planned 12 - 16 months out…
Discuss how involved both of you will plan on being during the engagement process. Does this all make you both stressed and overwhelmed, read number 5 and think about hiring some help!
Guest List! You might have to wait till you meet with parents to come up with a finalized guest list, but coming up with a general idea of how many people you want there will help when telling parents how many of their people they can invite. Having a max guest count can also help with the venue search!
Style of wedding - Classic, Vintage, Boho, Rustic, Elegant, Bold, Neutral, Simple. Whatever style you may want to have, we believe it is important for both to have design elements in the wedding that represent the both of you. You can have touches that represent you both individually as well as a partnership. (Pinterest is great for both guys and gals, talk to your man about just looking through so that he can get a better idea on his vision)
Start researching (not touring) venues around the area, there are so many different styles when it comes to venues, so first just start looking at types of venues that are out there and see what style you want. Don’t hop right into tours until you have budget, venues around Minneapolis can be expensive AF, you don’ t want to tour one, fall in love and realize there is no way you could ever spend that much money. Its better to get your budget in check and a general idea on guest count figured out, otherwise you will be going tours with no purpose.

5. Hire Wedding Management or Wedding Planner & start getting organized!

Don’t know what wedding management is? Heard of a Day of Coordinator? We are like that, only we help keep you organized along the way as well! Don’t get me wrong, we love a good wedding binder! Something that shows your personality, has a calendar in it and can keep you nice and organized! A binder will help you keep track of meetings, your vendors, receipts, contracts, photos of your visions. You can buy a big fancy one or you can make it yourself! Not a fan of binders, papers and such, there are great apps out there for the tech savvy couple. The Knot has a great one! But nothing beats having a professional by your side the entire way! You can read more about wedding management (here)!

We believe everyone deserves a Wedding Coordinator, and the earlier you book us, the more of an asset we can be, so look at hiring someone sooner rather than later, to ensure you find the coordinator that completely fit your vibe!

Maybe you start planning and think a wedding planner is more of what you need by your side, you can learn all about that and other packages we offer (here)!

A wedding planning might not be in your budget, if you choose to forego the planner, our biggest piece of advice is to get organized! Spreadsheets and to - do lists are so important to help you stay on track!

6. Have a meeting with your parents to discuss guest list & budget.

Now that you and your partner have discussed your dream wedding vision, it is time to meet with the parents and get their visions. Some parents want to be super involved, while others may not. It’s important to talk with them, let them know your thoughts and to make sure they understand that it is your wedding and you want them to enjoy it as well. The big factors to discuss with parents are guest list and budget.

I. Who does everyone want at the wedding? You should have both sets of parents make their lists, combine those with your lists and then create an A, B & sometimes C category. If your parents are pitching in, they should have a say in guest list, but this can be a slippery slope and if it’s the two of you paying and you are on a tight budget, while it may be uncomfortable, you will have to discuss that with them. We hear all the time, parents want all of their friends and co-workers there to celebrate with, and while that is great, remind them, there is a budget and the venue will have a max capacity. A rule of thumb I love to recommend is, if you or your partner have never met the person, they do not get an invite.

II. Who is going to pay for the wedding? This is never a fun subject, but it needs to be done. Will you guys be saving up? Will the brides parents be paying? Will it be a collaborative effort? If so, get a clear understanding on who is contributing how much. I can not tell you how many times a couple has came to us and said “Well I think my parents will probably throw us $5000?” Come to find out, they are only planning on giving them $1000 or only paying for the food. Sometimes you need to educate them on how expensive its going to be & let them discuss what they are comfortable with contributing. Having this conversation will alleviate a ton of stress to just get it all out in the open.

7. Now is the time to start an in-depth venue search and schedule some tours.

Budget & guest list in mind, now its time for our favorite part of planning… VENUE TOURS! Compile a list of venues you really want to see and start making appointments. There are so many unique and fun venues out there and we love researching and touring them! If you are not like us, this stage can stress people out, because good lord there are so many venues in the area, you have hotel ballrooms, industrial & historic warehouses, classic estates, mansions, barns, farms, parks, gardens, ski chalets, breweries, restaurants, theaters, those are some off the top of my head, of course there are many more! We suggest touring many different styles not just 1 that you saw on Pinterest. Get a feel for the different styles out there, you may surprise yourself! Be open minded to styles, and think about your overall vision.

Here is a small list of initial things you can ask your venue consultant:

o Do they require In-house catering or can you use outside catering? You can learn more about the kind of catering your venue offers by clicking here.

o What is the food and beverage minimum? You can learn more about what to ask your caterer by clicking here.

o Tables, chairs included? Who sets them up if the room needs to be flipped? Is there a fee involved in flipping the room?

o Do they have a separate ceremony spot?

o If the ceremony is outside, what is a rain backup?

o Are table Linens and napkins included? If so, are they floor length? Do you get a choice of colors?

o What is the House fee/ Service charge? Does that include gratuity for the staff?

o Is staff included?

o Are there any other charges that get added on to the rental fee?

o Is there an event coordinator included – If yes. What exactly will they do for you the day of?

We have an in-depth blog on what to ask during venue tours (here)!

8. Hiring Other Vendors!

Brynn Wheatly Photography
DJ - Josh Taylor with Super Good DJ’s

You have your budget, guest list and vision in place, now is time to start looking at the other vendors that make the wedding a reality. Depending on how long your engagement will be, most of your vendors, don’t have to be booked right away, but there are a few that book out faster than others. 2022 is the year of the wedding boom, there is no denying that, we are seeing vendors book up faster than years before, so you use to be able to wait to book your vendors, but now, it’s common to see them book out 1.5 years in advance! That’s not to say there are not tons of quality vendors out there, we are just saying if you are dying to have someone as your vendor, don’t wait to book them! No matter what someone’s list says!

Not listed is a planner / coordinator, which you have already booked because of tip #5 ;)

1. Venue! The venue is the most important, you can’ not solidify any other vendors until you know that your venue is available for that day!

2. If you getting married at a church, this falls in line with venue, they should be booked together!

3. Photographer because they book out fast!

4. Dress! Your dress will take a while to get made and come in, so if you get engaged and are looking to have a wedding in less than 6 months, finding your dream dress is so important! There are so many boutique wedding shops out there, so don’t limit yourself to the big places!

5. Catering! If your venue does not come with catering, you should lock one in a few months after you book that venue!

A short list of other vendors that you should start booking 10 months out (the standard use to be 8-9 months out, but we are starting to see these book out earlier than in years past)

Hair & Makeup, floral, DJ / Band, Officiant, Stationary, Desserts, Hotel Blocks, Transportation! Again, if you love a certain vendor, don’t wait!

We want couples to enjoy every minute of their engagement! This is just a short list of what to get started on after the big day, if you need more help, feel free to contact us! We love sitting down for FREE consultations, we can brain storm, eat some pancakes, give advice, and have some fun!

Congratulations and Cheers!